As part of our Autism Awareness Month series at the Lisieux Trust, Imogen came to us when we took on a failing care home that we subsequently worked to turn around. Imogen wishes to identify as a woman, and this is her story, shared in her own words, about her experiences, challenges, and the difference support has made to her life since joining the Trust.

I’ve always known I was different, but I wasn’t told I had autism when I was younger. I only found out when I read it in my file at my old place. I kept wondering why it had never been explained to me, and I think I should have been told instead of finding out that way. Later, I asked my step-nan, and she explained it better.

Every day, one of the biggest challenges for me is going out in public. When I go out in public, it’s hard because it feels like I have to mask my disability so I don’t get bullied. I was bullied a lot at school, and that stays with me. Even now, it feels like people are looking at me. I know they’re not, but it still feels like it, if that makes sense. I don’t know if people are judging me; it could be something else, but it still feels real when I’m out.

I do feel more confident than I used to. I go out a lot more now. Yes, I stim a lot on the bus and train, and people are understanding [stimming means making repeated movements or sounds to help stay calm or manage feelings], and when I don’t want anyone sitting next to me, people are respectful on the bus and train. That helps. It makes it a bit easier to be out in the community and be myself.

What I would most like to overcome is not worrying about people judging me when I go out. That’s the main thing for me. I want to go out and not feel like people are watching or judging me all the time.

Since being at the Trust, things are better. The staff are just there for me if anything goes wrong. Nothing has gone wrong, but it helps knowing they are there. It makes me feel supported. Before the Trust, it was different. The old management wasn’t great, and I didn’t have the same support around me.

If I had a message for people, I would say don’t let anyone judge you. If they do, don’t listen to them because they don’t know anything about you.